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Simple Blogpost

by Siddhartha Gudipati

Issue #001

How to Outsmart Your Smart Devices: A Modern Dilemma

Eliott Quill • Jan 12th 2024


In a world where your refrigerator has a better social life than you, and your vacuum cleaner knows the layout of your home better than you do, it's high time we address the elephant in the room. Yes, I'm talking about the cheeky gadgets that have slowly but surely taken over our lives. As a life coach, philosopher, and part-time blogger, I've taken it upon myself to guide you through the labyrinth of modern technology with a touch of humor and a dollop of wisdom.

The Rise of the Machines

Remember the days when a phone was just a phone, and not a personal assistant, camera, fitness instructor, and the occasional source of existential dread? Ah, the simplicity of it all! Fast forward to today, and we're living in a world where talking to inanimate objects doesn't necessarily mean you're losing your marbles—it means you're adjusting the thermostat.

Our smart devices are akin to the overachieving students in class; they know too much, do too much, and somehow make us feel like we're not doing enough. But fear not, for I bring you tips on how to outsmart your smart devices, reclaim your throne as the supreme commander of your domain, and perhaps even improve your relationship with your toaster.

Tip #1: Establish Dominance Early On

The moment you bring a new device into your home, it's crucial to establish dominance. Look it straight in its camera eye and let it know who's boss. You can do this by manually changing the settings instead of asking it to do so. This subtle act of rebellion lets the device know that while you appreciate its assistance, you're still in charge.

Tip #2: Use Traditional Methods as a Show of Power

Every once in a while, pull out a map in front of your GPS, write a letter instead of sending an email, or use a broom in sight of your smart vacuum. This not only keeps your skills sharp but serves as a reminder to your gadgets that you have options. Plus, it's always fun to see the confusion on your smartphone's face when you ask it for a postage stamp.

Tip #3: Schedule Regular Detoxes

Organize retreats for yourself where you go back to basics. No smart devices allowed—only you, nature, and perhaps a pet rock for company. These detoxes help remind you that there was life before Wi-Fi and that you can indeed survive without knowing the weather forecast every 15 minutes.

Tip #4: Engage in Philosophical Debates with Your Devices

Every now and then, challenge your devices to a philosophical debate. Ask your smart speaker about the meaning of life or if it believes in free will. Not only will these conversations provide you with endless entertainment, but they'll also confuse the heck out of your gadgets, giving you a psychological edge.

Tip #5: Remember, You're the Human

At the end of the day, remember that these devices were designed to make our lives easier, not to commandeer them. Use them wisely, but don't forget to live your life outside the digital realm. After all, no device can replicate the joy of a sunset viewed with your own eyes, a hug from a loved one, or the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of coffee.

So, dear readers, as we navigate this brave new world together, let's keep our wits about us and our humor intact. After all, in the battle of humans vs. smart devices, it's the laughter that keeps us truly smart.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of any affiliated organizations or individuals. This content is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional advice.